There’s this myth that it’s okay to pick on the weight of a skinny girl but not a chubby girl. I’m certain just saying ‘chubby girl’ could be construed as bullying. In truth, picking on either weight is just the same bullying, only difference is one you call ‘anno’ and the other you call ‘fatty’.
Up until I was 19 I didn’t really have any fat on my body. I was size 6 on my bottom half and smaller than that in my shoulders. This petiteness had a strange affect on some people. Some would get angry about it, some would ask me questions, or make comments, or scoff. Some people weren’t able to get over it. Every meal eaten in the company of others was met with “is that all you’re having? ha, knew you wouldn’t finish it…” coupled with dirty looks or laughing amongst themselves. I had eaten my full, though, so I started forcing myself to swallow down more and more mouthfuls (to the point where I’d have to unbutton my pants) just so they wouldn’t watch me take every bite and comment on every morsel left on the plate.
Some people didn’t like me because of my weight, which happens to bigger girls too. People who I’d only met briefly would say, “She looks like a skinny, blonde bitch. She’s not nice. Don’t be her friend.” I was unaware of such comments at first, and would be saying how that person seemed like a nice girl, or pretty cool, completely unaware that the size of me had offended them to the point of hatred. But I ate food. Every day in fact, multiple times a day, like a normal person. My metabolism was just very quick and I didn’t have a huge appetite due to eating small meals frequently, so I didn’t put on weight easily. (Now my metabolism has slowed down with age and a decline in activity) This was not an acceptable excuse for non-skinny people unfortunately, who would demand to know the real reason. Defending your eating habits is tiresome when nobody wants to listen to you, I once had to compare fist sizes with someone and say, “that’s how big our stomachs are, see how small my fist is? Yeah, that’s why.” I don’t know if fist size is actually equal to stomach size, but it worked pretty well as a visual aid. Often I just wanted to yell “WOULD YOU FEEL BETTER IF I STUFFED AN ENTIRE TURKEY DOWN MY THROAT?”
– speaking of eating a lot of food, have you seen speed eaters? Those guys can eat a whole tray of hotdogs and most aren’t even large!
That’s the thing: it would make them feel better, not me. They would be satisfied by me shoving a whole roasted bird down my throat if it meant I was now ‘eating a normal amount’. Technically, a whole turkey would probably burst my intestines, but what a delicious way to go. I put the skinny shaming down to some jealously. “Why do you get to not put on weight and not me?” I was always annoyed because everybody seemed oblivious to the curvy parts of me that I liked. My hips have always been 20 inches bigger than my waist, and are quite womanly. My chest (aka boobies) were always a full size. I wanted to yell ‘but look at my curvy bits! look at ’em! I am ‘normal’! I’m just small and curvy I swear it’s possible!’ Nothing is wrong with not having a bigger chest, I just really liked mine! People see what they want to see, though.
I have noticed a trend on a site I use where if a larger girl posts a photo of herself (specifically in a bikini / underwear) then others exclaim how much of an inspiration she is, how brave she is, how wonderful and beautiful! When a girl of a small size does this she is instantly labelled a ‘slut’. Yet the two pictures are the same: girls in underwear. Does having more weight on your frame make you a better person? If so, in what way? What if the larger girl is so large that amount of weight looks uncomfortable and bad for your health? I am 10 kilos heavier now than I was 2 years ago and it’s already uncomfortable and yuck. Extreme thinness can also make you weak and ill. Let’s all stop the competition between big and small and decide to just aim for good health for ourselves? Good health comes in a few shapes and sizes.Picking on someone else’s body type might help distract you from the parts of yours you’re unhappy with, but it won’t fix them. Having a good whinge is what people do, but keeping a check on your comments on other’s weight will make you feel better than the whinge.
You’re only ‘too skinny’ if you’re starving and hurting to be that way.
If you happen to know someone who is skinny, check yourself before saying, “damn you’re thin!” etc because they know, and they don’t have to feel bad about it. Not everybody who is a size 6 / 8 (Australian sizes) suffers from an eating disorder. Some of them are naturally thin, and you don’t have to interrogate them about it. There are signs of an eating disorder that you can research and quietly check against your thin friend if you’ve noticed odd behaviours and are concerned, but if you ask them about it and they deny it you may have to accept that they are telling the truth and to watch them quietly until they confide in you. Not everyone is bigger sized, that’s just a simple fact.