Being a Hermit Sucks

When we were younger, a friend and I used to joke about her becoming a hermit when she grew old. I promised that I would bring her groceries and leave them by the door. It seemed like a great idea at the time; retreating from the world, not having to deal with people, doing what you want when you want. Unfortunately, the dream has been shattered this year for me.

The thing about living a hermit-esque lifestyle is that you get both lonely and bored. Days go by very quickly and you find yourself feeling sedentary. This week I have been starting my days with exercise instead of my usual roll out of bed, make the bed, sit on the bed and do some internet-ing from the bed. Not really ideal. Well, it certainly fills in an hour and gives me a happy, light feeling. The problem is that it gets me all motivated and ready for the day… a day which involves nothing but sitting alone with my homework and chores.

Ah I guess I'll just keep watching the old ocean since I don't have anything to do today. I'm cold.
Ah I guess I’ll just keep watching the old ocean since I don’t have anything to do today. I’m cold.

Hanging out with friends is harder now because they all have wonderfully busy lives, while I am quite the opposite thanks to leaving a job and online study. Filling in days with mini triumphs is my new way of marking the passage of time: an appointment here, drinks at the pub there, driving lesson for good measure. One awesome triumph this week was the passing of my Hazard Perception Test. Oh yes, this blogger right here can safely recognize road hazards and is one step closer to being able to drive.

Very soon I will be on the roads and as my friends tell me, it will change my life. Walking the streets of my town alone can be a bit of a gamble. Just yesterday I witnessed the man in front of me walk into somebodies front yard , turn on their outside tap and wash his face. Two blocks before him it was a gang of leering teenage boys. Before them it was an angry junkie. Was I attacked or mugged by any of these people? No, but I prefer not to have crazies jeering at me from cars or walking too close behind me on the street or making me feel threatened on my block. Ladies who have to walk around by themselves will know the feeling I’m talking about! However from a car I won’t have to worry about whether I have enough energy left to make a run for it if the shirtless guy talking to himself decides he’d like to chat with me. I can visit friends and go places. Amazing! I also can’t wait to visit some towns nearby.

Freedom.
Freedom.

Ah, social interaction! People need it. As much as stowing away as a hermit for a while seems like fun, the truth is that you need regular contact with different people. Even a telephone call can brighten your day. I’m looking for work so that I have some structure and people in my life. People are social, and even for someone like me who likes alone time and can be tied over for a fortnight on one single social activity, you can’t be alone forever.

Besides, all this hermit-ness is sucking my inspiration dry. Talk about lack of ideas flowing! This is purely because I don’t see enough, hear enough, experience enough new and different things each day. Unless I write about monotony like this post… You have to seek inspiration, not wait for it to hit you. If you spend all your time doing the same things then eventually your mind will be sucked of all it’s enthusiasm and hope – you’ll just be left with a hollow feeling of needing something, someone, anything to get outside. It’s just that at the same time it stunts you from being able to do those things.

At least we have the internet? It’s a shame that interacting on the internet doesn’t fill you up as much as interacting in person. Nothing can give you that feeling of purpose and satisfaction like talking to a good friend face to face. In a couple of months I should (if all goes to plan) be driving, and then working, and writing and exercising and studying and blogging and playing and hey, suddenly the empty days will be filled up and I’ll be wishing that I had a little more time to just myself. Better savor this time.

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8 thoughts on “Being a Hermit Sucks

  1. Ah, I can so relate to this… I work from home, courtesy of the internet, which is bliss in many ways, but it takes a conscious and never-ending effort to fill the social diary every week. Tiresome as it is sometimes, if I didn’t make the effort, I’d probably go nuts. Ya just can’t have it all… 😉

  2. I need to talk to friends on a daily basis. I love face to face and use phone to set up meetings. I am really enjoying the blogging world as well. Well done for passing your test and enjoy not being too busy. Too many are too busy. 🙂

  3. I’m a hermit too so I know what you mean. I spent last year filling my days with expensive driving lessons and finally past on the 21st of December. I had big dreams of jobs and driving in the country. But none of that’s happened.
    I’m scared to drive our car alone. I like the instructors car with the massive sign atop and the lady sitting next to me. I thought i would change, but I’m the same person I’ve always been. I don’t know how to change.
    I hope you don’t waste your time like I have, it really does suck. And I have less money now since the lessons sucked me dry.
    So I’m poor and alone. I might as well get a cat.

  4. It is so true that hermitism feeds on itself. You get into that headspace that you *need* to see someone, get outside or just *do* something all the while believing solitude is what you want. It’s like a paralysing safe place.

    I’m glad it’s not just me!

    1. You said this so perfectly. This is exactly how it is. We are forced into a hermit-esque lifestyle for the past year and for the foreseeable future because of my son’s medical issues. It takes a huge toll on you mentally and creates a downward spiral that seems impossible to get out of some days.

  5. you know I was just talking to my dogs about this yesterday, right after they tried to destroy my computer. I had assumed wrongly they were just jealous of all the attention the computer gets which cuts into their suckering me into meaty treats and petting.

    any way, they didnt have much to say on the topic other than rolling their eyes and looking generally disgusted at how dense I am.

    Maybe I should get out more, before my dogs revolt and I end up in the crate being passed meaty treats. I think its just that time of year to get the four wheeler out, do some camping, meet new people and let the dogs run like theres no tomorrow.

  6. I realised the other day that my social media life is more social than my real social life. Over the last 3 years or so I’ve signed up to just about every social media outlet possible (though I hardly use some of them), but I’m lucky if I see/have a long conversation with my friends once every couple of months. All of us being busy doesn’t help, but I guess not seeing each other every week means that we have more to talk about when we do see each other.

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