The body reacts before the mind.
When I first heard about the mistake, my eyes cried before my mind could consciously fathom the idea that things had actually gone bad. My heart beat fast, heat crept into my neck, my mouth mumbled the news in repetition, yet my brain saw only a great, grey ocean, with waves slowly and noiselessly crashing onto not shore, but more, endless water.
I was not as special as I’d hoped. I did not dazzle, I was mulled over without excitement. An annoying yet obligatory decision to be made.
For as long as I remembered, my body always understood pain before I did. My chest was a direct link to harsh words, realisations, memories. I could always judge the depth of a new pain by the physical reaction of my chest. It had become skilled over the years.
I have never, and will never, claim to have had worse experiences than my peers, friends, strangers I pass on the street. Never will I say my life has held more bad things than those I encounter, however briefly, or never know about at all. But that which I have had has been uniquely mine, and all things aside, very real.
Enjoy your weekends, fellow bloggers, X