So it would seem that our computer is cursed, as it suddenly created a google account for my partner all of it’s own accord, and in doing so let me somehow look at the blog he used to have but had deactivated. I was just trying to stalk someone else’s blogger profile, sheesh. It’s only creepy because we have brand new internet and just last week we had to reset this computer to default settings, so everything was wiped from it.
Regardless of it suddenly having a life of it’s own, we had a look at his blog before he quickly set it back to deactivated and I got to see a post I had almost forgotten about. You’re about to see something I didn’t write, but something that was written for me, two years ago.
Take a look,
“…I realised today that I don’t love you. I often find myself saying it but I know now it’s not true, because you see, I love candy, good films, music and other things to that effect, and I drew upon the conclusion that the word “Love” just doesn’t cut it anymore. I spent this morning going through old dictionaries to find alternatives for the word, but nothing I could find sat right with me. Needless to say I took a break to watch an old movie, and it dawned upon me, the love I feel for you is the kind of love that sends millions running in fear, the kind of love that destroys entire cities, it’s the kind of love people rarely believe in, sure they make movies about it, and children fear it as they sleep at night, but nobody truly believes they will ever encounter such a feeling. So no, I don’t love you, I Lovezilla you, and I Lovezilla the shit out of you.
When I first sat down and read that two years ago, before we were living together, the first line made me go stone cold and freeze up. I thought he was publicly declaring that he’d changed his mind about dating me and was dumping me via blog post. By the end however, I was grinning from ear to ear like a mad man and wondering what on Earth I’d done to deserve someone who loves me so much.
So that’s all I wanted to share, a little snippet of the relationship I am very blessed to have, without any of my usual ‘jokes’ or self deprecation, and I hope you’ll forgive me for having a very self-indulgent moment. It seemed a nice reminder to always lovezilla the shit out of each other.