Fake It Til You Make It

Sometimes it seems like negativity is the hip perspective to have. Being cynical or darkly humorous about something is one thing, because if done well and with a sense of playfulness it’s pleasing and it’s status of ‘hip’ is valid. However, downright bitching over and over again while never offering any glimpse of cheer is taking negativity to the status of ‘I can’t even smile at a kitten picture now’.

I’ve come across blogs that are centered around having a good complain about whatever-got-up-their-arse-that-day. For a while, these make for pretty alright reading. When they write up a bitch-fest on how much so-and-so sucks or about how unfairly they’ve been treated by the milkman because he delivered a milk bottle with a scratched label, I read them with interest. Well, perhaps not the milk bottle thing. That would never get old.

Fuck you.

Fuck you.

After a while, though, continuously writing only about how shitty things are without ever offering a little tidbit of positivity gets tiring. And I get it, this is your personal platform to write about whatever you want! I completely respect that and would never ask you to change just for me. It’s just that after a while, I personally can’t take any more. I have to bail from my subscription so I don’t have to read one more horrible word about nothing. Or horrible words about horrible things over and over with no relief provided by offering hope or perspective or suggestions on how to make things better. Months worth of bitching makes me wonder how you can possibly bring yourself to get out of bed every morning with that perspective – surely if minor things spur you onto your computer to exert all this energy writing a scathing review, then your morning toast not cooking properly at the crust must send you into a frenzy.

I also have a sneaking suspicion that habitually sitting down to write about all the shitty things you can think of in a tone of ‘oh woe is me’, then you’re always going to feel poorly. You’re always going to notice the crap if you have made your blog an homage to it.

It's kind of like you have these choices and you are purposefully picking 'dump on everything'.

It’s kind of like you have these choices and you are purposefully picking ‘dump on everything’.

Of course, in writing this post, I myself become a complainer. The cycle claims another negativity victim! I don’t want to spout about life changing mantras because they never sound credible (even to me!) but I did come across a little saying a while ago, “Whatever you think, think the opposite.” I’m not a slogan kind of person, but this stayed with me and helped me move to the big city or generally have a better time in whatever situation. So, if you find yourself writing nothing but attacks every day, purposefully think the opposite and see if you can’t have a better day. You don’t have to become a yippy, perky, happy-happy but it is less tiring to be calm than constantly furious.

This post is not aimed at people suffering from a mental illness who aren’t able to easily change their outlooks when having a hard time. 

12 thoughts on “Fake It Til You Make It

  1. Totally agreed! I can’t even read negative posts. Sometimes I stay with it to see if a sarcastic opener was luring me in to a provocative piece. But, then…I run far, far away.

    Once I wrote a draft of a post and ended up deleting it and just not posting anything that week. I was in a funk and I felt it showed through my writing. It wasn’t bitching, but it wasn’t the right kind of vibe I usually deliver, so I ditched it.

  2. Pingback: Short Post on Positivity – Smart Stunning Searching

  3. totally agree. The odd outpouring of bad day issues is totally natural, but there is a definite difference between constantly being negative. Im pretty sure it makes you feel horrible. Being mean wont make your day brighter!

    • I definitely don’t mind bad day issues, because I agree, it’s only natural to load off. But my gosh there really is a difference isn’t there between that and just being negative every day over everything!

  4. A good friend of mine told me that some people think being negative makes them appear smart. Fortunately for me I am an eternal optimist and hugely smart at the same time. I could have used the word “simultaneously” but decided (because I am secure in my huge smartness) that it wasn’t necessary. Stay away from negativity dear smart and very talented Jessica, it will only bring you down. ;-D

    • I think I’ve heard something like that, too. As if being a bit cheerful makes you stupid. I think it’s that people don’t realise you can be realistic as well as positive. Not all the time of course. And this coming from me who is always worrying and assuming the worst – I just don’t let that initial reaction overcome everything or else I’d be constantly having a dreadful time.
      Haha, you’re huge smart no matter what word you use :D It really does bring you down! Thank you as always for the kind words, they certainly help me stay positive myself – and right back at you :)

  5. So true. Reminds me of office meetings where everyone just complains about everything but offers no solutions. If you’re not going to make lemonade don’t cut up the lemons I say =)

    • Haha what a good saying! I like to have a good complain once in a while, I think everyone does, but when it’s all the time and like you say, without any solutions offered it’s just tiresome. It would be good if everyone came to the next office meeting with solutions to their issues, I imagine the mood would feel lighter.

    • It really is tiring. I felt bad when I realised that I was starting to sigh whenever I read another negative post from the same person, then I realised that there’s no point making myself share in someone else’s misery when it wasn’t coming from anything important or worldly or hopeful in the first place. The bright side is the better side – not always possible of course, but hopefully something we can all strive to see.

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