Santa is an Alien

I mentioned a while ago that one day I would tell you all about the time I saw an alien space ship, but I forget to mention that I also happened to see a very strange phenomenon involving reindeer, a sleigh and jingle bells once so in honour of the Christmas just gone…

I was about 4, and we were at a party with my dad one Christmas eve. When it started to get late, and the other children were falling asleep, we left. As we walked outside, the hosts politely showing us out, we stepped over the threshold without thinking that something in the sky was about to fly overhead. The lady host gave a laugh, I frowned and clutched a present, or bottle, or something, and my dad picked me up in his arms. And that was when we heard it, the sound of bells, magical bells. We looked around trying to see who was out and about, but seeing nothing on the street and the sound increasing in volume we could only take the next logical step and look upwards…

Air was sucked from our lungs as we held our breath in awed silence as high in the sky a long, gliding shape floated many feet above the rooftops, jingling softly but audibly. Of course, we couldn’t see the entirety of the reindeer (now being underneath them) but I remember their hooves and legs moving as if running, only through the sky. And, if we weren’t mistaken, a distant ‘ho ho ho’ was heard along with a wave of a red arm…

“Santa?” I had asked, and intrigued and confused, the adults had turned to each other in bemusement and shrugged, looking bewildered. That’s a lot of adverbs. I slept soundly that night, trusting that my presents would be there under the big, real tree in the morning.

Moving up in the stakes of mystical creatures came the day that I saw an alien spaceship. Oh ho, yeah you could forgive me for the Santa thing, couldn’t you? Because I was 4 and sleepy and it was Christmas Eve and wouldn’t it be lovely if there was something(one) flying around dressed as Santa to bring some magic to the night? But aliens? No. Too crazy.

Christmas travels count as sedatives. Haven’t been this flat since last year.

However, I’ll continue. One evening, we went to visit some family. The grown ups went out onto the back decking for their usual rendezvous with beer and we began our usual nonsense in the front yard, this time including the boy from next door, who despite his short comings (frosted tips and an angry father) we desperately wanted to be my sister’s boyfriend. Kids suck at match maker.

This time I was around 9, so better able to understand the things I was seeing without them warping or going over my head. If you’re much older and 9 has become 6, think hard to when you were that age and you’ll realise that you’re still pretty much that same kid, and you were not in fact, an idiot or imagining things. Unless, you know, you were that kid.

For the last time Josie, we don’t believe you, Michael Jackson never did a private concert in your parents garage and your dad isn’t rich!

My cousins went inside to commandeer some party food or to make sure the parents were properly intoxicated for our next gig, and the neighbour boy and I were left of the porch. We lent on the railing and looked out towards the opposite Wildlife Park. This was before any of the newer estates were built in the area, and the only other homes around besides his and my cousin’s were behind us or in the distance. We chatted benignly, waiting awkwardly for the others to come rescue us from the embarrassment of being a boy and a girl alone together when we saw it.

Flying down jerkily, a cluster of shining lights arrayed in the shape of a previously comical saucer just appeared silently from the clouds, hovered for a moment over the tree tops then descended down into the park of animals and out of sight.

We stopped talking immediately, and just watched, our voices caught in our throats. We looked at each other, eyebrows raised. He laughed in a strained attempt of ‘what the hell’ while I said something along the lines of ‘did you…?’ We waited for a long time but the lights never came back up out of the park, and when my cousins returned they weren’t even interested in listening to our tale.

The moment didn’t look like this, but this picture has a tree in it so it won.

I guess cows aren’t the alien animal of choice, but rather kangaroos and wombats are. Who would have thought. I’ve told this story a couple of times, realising that I sound like a complete nutter butter but let me tell you something, it wasn’t a helicopter, it wasn’t a plane, it definitely wasn’t a hot air balloon and it also wasn’t a blimp. Besides, who would fly one of those into an animal home? You’d scare them, and in the evening is just dangerous. I may not remember why my cousins went inside, or what I said exactly afterwards, but I remember the moment we saw that thing.

All those times I laughed at the rednecks on television for saying the same things were uncomfortably retracted when I remembered that I am just like them, really. I even have to tell you the lines, “I know what I saw” and “you had to be there.” And after all, what’s the big deal with aliens? It isn’t that hard of a stretch to believe that there are other beings in the universe. It’s ridiculously self-centered to think it’s just us, isn’t it? It’s possible and very probable that there are other forms of life out there, and indeed possible again that they are more advanced than us in flying from one solar system to the next. Now the Santa thing? Well, it pains me to admit but, it probably was just a weird blimp or something. Though, my dad does get all weird when I mention it and never offers any solutions to what we saw…. But, he can’t be real, can he?

Unless, Santa is an alien….

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