“You are alone. You will die alone. Help is not on the way.” Continue reading
Obviously, confining cats to one backyard is a chore. I’m not sure if you’ve ever owned a cat, but if you have then it’s pretty clear as soon as they learn to climb the fence that they are going to be spending some time visiting the neighbours you never have. I came home one night at 2am in a taxi and was dropped on the opposite side of the street to my house when I heard a meow; looking over the opposing neighbours fence my cat was crouching, looking extremely guilty. I’ll have none of that “cats-don’t-make-facial-expressions” nonsense. They totally do. Continue reading
So I have this problematic idea about myself that I’m just completely immune to side effects. For whatever reason, I always assume that my body is the one that won’t suffer the issues the doctor says could come up. “Nausea? Pfft. Tell it to the sickly plebs, pharmacist and hand me my pills.” Continue reading
Originally posted on Flavorwire:
Everyone could use a bit of advice now and then. But what if you’re the type who eschews all human contact and prefers to converse only with characters in your books? Well, er, then even they might not be able to help you. All kidding aside, as any avid reader will know, many of the great works of literature are filled with wisdom, which you could do worse than to take to heart — especially in these back-to-school weeks, a time when a little extra advice can always help. So after the jump you will find a few nuggets of humanhood as doled out by literary (read: fictional!) characters who know a thing or two. Don’t see your favorite on here? Add it to the common pool of wisdom in the comments.
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Today, I saw a moth in the bath and with a start, I realised I should go and get my camera to take a photo. I simply wanted to post a photo of a moth in a bath so I could use the IT Crowd’s joke, “Trapped! Like a moth, in a bath.” as the caption to garner a few laughs. Moss goes on to suggest that moths could use tiny ladders to escape baths.
Unfortunately, in my time again, the moth then subsequently drowned before I could even leave to get my phone and I couldn’t help but realise that the moth would have survived if he had of in fact, had a ladder.
(This actually happened in January, but it’s been so long since I posted anything for ya’ll that I thought I’d bring this up on here. It’s probably the best thing that ever happened to me. Though, not the best thing for the moth.)
Hope you’ve all been mighty fine.
Because what education is complete without loud music, sweaty guys and sitting in the gutter?
1. You Will Never Go Out in Nice Weather
No, what actually happens is that you find yourself going out in the peak of summer or the depth of winter. When it’s hot out it’s boiling inside a venue but never fear, some clubs have giant fans that you can dance in front of – cooling and makes you feel like you’re in a music video. Besides, sweat gives you that lovely dewy look, doesn’t it? Continue reading
You may or probably-most-likely-did not notice my name change from MittensKittens to SighOhJessica, and this is due to my relationship status going from in-one to single. And Mittens was my nickname from that previous relationship.
Have you ever been told you remind someone of a certain person? For me, I’ve never reminded anyone of say, Angelina Jolie, but instead have been compared to Dobby the House-elf …and a camel. Not a special camel, just your average herd animal. Most recently, I have had my friends tell me that I have been doing things reminiscent of Miranda Hart in her show of the same name. Unfortunately, I don’t have a loyal audience laughing and rooting for me – it’s just silence as people digest my awkwardness. And no, no no awkward is not cute or hip or trendy it is bloody painful. Continue reading
Dinner time is a painful time for the young person. I imagine when you have kids that you work out a routine of meals that you go through – after all, you have to, your children have to eat. When you’re a young person though and suddenly faced with feeding yourself every night, ideas can be thin. Do I want red meat? Hmmm. Chicken? Hmmm, maybe. Vegetables? I guess. But what flavour? How do I bring this all together? Continue reading
Sometimes it seems like negativity is the hip perspective to have. Being cynical or darkly humorous about something is one thing, because if done well and with a sense of playfulness it’s pleasing and it’s status of ‘hip’ is valid. However, downright bitching over and over again while never offering any glimpse of cheer is taking negativity to the status of ‘I can’t even smile at a kitten picture now’. Continue reading
Personally, this message constantly being slammed into my brain through social media is tiring. Yes yes, I get it, I have to make differences in my life to have new things and learn things and be a better person and all that. But sometimes, or all of the time depending, making changes in your life looks like scary business. They say you want to get out of your comfort zone, but there’s a reason that zone has the word ‘comfort’ in it – that’s the place with the blankets and the biscuits and the less worry.
And yet. Despite my annoyance with this slogan, I did indeed make a change this year. Continue reading
I’m going to give you a visual representation of how hot it has been where I am living for the last week:
If you have been wondering why I haven’t caught up on this blog for a while, that’d be why. Continue reading